Game Plan for Divorce: Strategy, Mindset, and Building Your Winning Team

Football season…I love a cool breeze in the air, leaves on the trees turning color, finally time to wear a hoodie and jeans, and turning on college football watching the players putting their all on the field to get a win.  What you might not expect is that watching football makes me think about…divorce.

Going through divorce may not seem to have much in common with preparing for a big game, but, in many ways, they’re surprisingly similar. Both require focus, strategy, and a solid game plan to navigate the unknowns ahead.

When you’re just beginning the divorce process, it can feel overwhelming because you don’t know what you don’t know.

You want things to go as smoothly as possible, but it can feel like you’re stepping onto a playing field with no idea of the rules, the plays, or even where the goalposts are.

That’s where a game plan makes all the difference. You can start building your gameplan by focusing on these three approaches.

1. Create a Strategy

A definition of strategy is “a general plan to achieve one or more long-term or overall goals under conditions of uncertainty.” Nothing like going into a divorce to be put into the throngs of uncertainty!  

In football, teams don’t share their game plans with each other, which is why a team’s playbook is everything—it guides each move, ensuring they’re prepared for whatever the other side throws at them.

When it comes to your divorce, having a personal “playbook” can help you feel prepared, in control, and focused on your end goal. The game of divorce isn’t always fair and there is a lot of unknowns, but with a strategy, you can be prepared to protect yourself, your interests, and your values.

Your game plan might include:

• Clarifying what’s most important to you (and what you’re willing to compromise on).
• Identifying essential steps to protect yourself legally, financially, and emotionally.
• Knowing what resources are available to you to increase your knowledge and brainstorm options 

2. Practice your Mindset

Divorce is often an unpredictable and emotional process, but preparation gives you something that emotions can’t shake—control over your mindset.

Instead of reacting in the moment, you’ll be equipped to handle each step with a clear head.

Think about a team in the locker room before they go on the field. What are they focused on? 

They are getting a “pep talk” to get in the right mindset for the game. They are visualizing scoring on the other team, making the plays, catching the ball. They aren’t picturing losing the game or fumbling every play.

You can start practicing your own mindset at any point, which can be especially helpful before mediation, negotiations, or court. You can already decide how you will respond to triggering situations before they happen and play out how you want them to go in your head.

Imagining knowing exactly what to do if an unexpected challenge arises can help you engage in negotiations with confidence.

Getting into the right mindset might include:

• Meditation with visualization of staying calm, like picturing a rock in the river.
• Having a playlist for the mood you want. Have more than one playlist for whatever situation.
• Find your mantra. Repeat to yourself what will help you stay focused or reset you. My personal mantra is “whatever happens, I’ll figure it out.” Feel free to borrow it!

3. Build your team

Going through a divorce can feel very isolating and lonely, especially when you don’t know what to do or where to even start. The quarterback isn’t out on the field alone going up against the other team. It is a team effort, built on support and guidance from others.

You may not know who you should have on your divorce-support team, but there are more options out there than you may realize. Resources and divorce experts can help you build your legal and financial game plan and playbook, while social and emotional supports can help you keep your mindset in the game. 

Examples of who your divorce team can include:

• Family lawyer
• Divorce coach
• Therapist
• CDFA/CDFP (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst/Planner)
• CDLP (Certfified Divorce Lending Professional)
• Divorce Support Groups

As a divorce coach, I want to be part of your team to help prepare your game plan and keep your mindset constructive. To do this, I offer a complimentary Next Steps Call with Dr. Stef.

In this call, we’ll work together to clarify your priorities, identify immediate actions, and develop a customized strategy to set you on the best path forward. By the end, you’ll have a roadmap for navigating your divorce—so you can stop wondering “What do I do next?” and start feeling in control of your future.

Ready to create your game plan? Book your Next Steps Call today and let’s get started on a strategy that will give you peace of mind and protect what matters most.